just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
