The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
