I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Randomize
