he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
