I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
