I must be too annoying 4 u.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
