is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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