They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
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how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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