Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
