i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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