I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
