I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
