Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
And then my night got REAL pukey
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
