I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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