what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
