oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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