giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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