I wish I could teleport
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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