I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
