Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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