i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
