I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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