my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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