Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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