I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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