it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he puts the penis in happiness.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
