I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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