at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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