Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
