I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
