Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
