NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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