whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
