Nicole vs. Life
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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