I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize