Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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