think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
