it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
