Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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