Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
