His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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