drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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