Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
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just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
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I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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