By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
My orgasm happened in two different decades
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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