I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
