Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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