nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The power of my boobs compel you
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
