my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
