I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
