can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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