need another drink. this is the easiest way
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Randomize
