So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
