What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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