I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
