my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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