I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
