I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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