I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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