What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
