Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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