i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?