before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
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Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
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BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.