I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles