I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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