How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
